“What’s up this week?”- How to quick plan to reduce stress and anxiety

Amidst my toddler yelling incoherent jargon, mental fog from pre-coffee wake up, and a sink full of dishes, a lightbulb went off. No, not the one in the ceiling light—that happened last week and is still burnt out—it was the light that flickers when one has a moment of brilliance.

Holding so many things inside my head was taking up so much mental space, and Lord knows I don’t have much of that left anymore since having a baby. Mommy brain is real.

My mind is always so busy spinning in circles, trying to remember events, appointments, and lists that I find my anxiety is frequently running high. But this morning was different. Today I decided to try something new. After my kid was settled in his high chair with breakfast and the Keurig was heating up, I pulled one of the rarely used magnetic note pads off the fridge and grabbed a pen.

I named the page the first thing that came to mind: What’s up this week?

Then I began to make bullet points. Things like Go to Costco and Put away laundry were things I wanted to get done, while Schedule dr appointment and Clean bathrooms were things that needed to get done. At first I didn’t differentiate between need and want, I just transferred the swirling thoughts from my head onto the paper to get them out.

The list wasn’t that long or life-changing, but it gave me a sense of direction for the week and could guide what I would do next. It helped me feel organized, clear-headed, and, most of all, sane. That’s huge for any busy woman.

Feeling in control of your day and week is never easy, and what I do find to be very easy is to let things get out of control pretty quickly. Sometimes it feels like everyone else but us is dictating our lives. For me, a little basic organization reigns the control back in. A few minutes of tidying in the morning and evening, basic lists, and a paper calendar with everything going that sits open on the counter top are a few ways that I’ve found to keep sane.

These methods work for me, but might not work for you. What other basic organizing could you do? Chore charts assign a specific cleaning task to a specific day, ensuring everything gets done in a timely fashion. Family calendars on the fridge with color codes to each person may let you plan ahead so that your life isn’t a last minute rush. One mom I know writes everything on sticky notes and creates an orderly grid on her fridge that allows her to quickly find important things to do, appointments, and future scheduling. So easy, but something I never would have thought of myself.

Making lists or charts might seems like the last thing you want to do on a hectic Monday morning, but planning the week ahead before it starts is guaranteed to make you feel in control and capable of taking it on. With a cup (or two, or three) of coffee in hand, of course.

 

What are some ways you’ve found to help keep yourself organized?

On aging and grace

“You look great for your age!…. Whatever, um, age you might be.”

Did you just call me old?

I stared at the teen something girl in the clothing resale shop, perplexed for the first time as the reality that I wasn’t in the “20-something” category anymore sunk in.

Up until this point, I didn’t really see myself that differently from any other 20-year old. And now, unintentionally (I hope), this girl was basically telling me that my style isn’t “teen” enough to buy, my clothes bought too long ago to purchase and resell to today’s discerning youth.

Why was I so rattled? I don’t particularly want to dress as a teenager—those crop tops and printed pants aren’t really my thing anyway—nor do I want to behave as a 20-something year old anymore. At night, I’m too tired to start getting ready at 9 pm to go out. By that time I’m getting ready for one thing only: bedtime. I don’t recover the same way after a night out of drinking (not that those kinds of nights happen much anymore). I don’t really get Coachella, or any summer festival in the blazing hot sun.

I think what this experience really showed me was who I am becoming. A little over a year ago I became a mother, and a few months after that I turned 30. With these changes brought so many other things, from postpartum depression, self-reinvention, blogging, and a self-confidence and security that I never had as a teen or 20 year old. So much has changed in my life.

I take my belly ring out for the last time, it’s pink jewel catching the sunlight as I put it away in my dresser drawer, the glint almost seeming like it is winking at me as I shut it away, another chapter in my life closed.

I smile to myself. I don’t dress the same or wear the same size I used to. I spend a lot of the day crawling after a toddler and wiping dirty hands, doing laundry and dishes repeatedly. My favorite scene isn’t at a bar, but instead is watching my son and husband play. My favorite activity isn’t very social; it’s the quiet moments when my baby boy—although not so baby anymore—grins at me and flings his arms around my neck for a big hug that warms me to my very core.

Change is good. Change is healing. Change is revealing to who we really are, what is important to us, and who we want to be. Bring on the changes. I am ready for them.